


Whispers

by realmSpinner



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, John/Karkat?, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-30
Updated: 2011-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-28 11:45:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/307538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realmSpinner/pseuds/realmSpinner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is John Egbert, and sometimes... just sometimes... you get the feeling you've gone crazy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whispers

Your name is John Egbert, and sometimes... just sometimes... you get the feeling you've gone crazy.

You take another gulp of the drink in front of you. The liquid is orange, a bright orange, and the ice cubes tap your top lip. The cool touch does nothing to ease the burn in your chest, but you're not even trying to ease it.

In fact, you want more of that burn. You want it a permanent part of you. The drink is not nearly strong enough. Rose made sure the bartender 'kept it light'.

You don't want it light.

The lights in the bar are bright enough, and even worse, flashing. They're flashing up on stage where some poor guy is attempting to please the crowd with his record spinning skills.

They aren't Dave's record spinning skills.

Dave could out-spin this dude three times over. Dave could make this guy look like a pathetic excuse for a DJ.

A giant one.

One the size of Jupiter.

“Maybe the nachos? Or.. oh.. what about the chicken quesadillas?!” Jade asks, enthusiastically pointing at the menu, simultaneously tipping the folded cardboard slab so everyone else at the table can get a peek. Which is impossible, you think. There's freaking nine of you. Not everyone is going to be able to read that small letting. You're two chairs down from her and _you_ can't read that letting.

“Sounds delicious!” Terezi exclaims with a broad, hungry smile.

Look at all those teeth.

One, two, three, four... nope, fuck it, you aren't going to count them all. Counting requires you to think.

You take another gulp of diluted liquor.

“Red _crayons_ taste delicious to you,” Karkat growls.

Your head feels like it's about ready to split open.

“I'll stick with a salad,” Rose insists.

“Do they even _have_ thalads in barth?” Sollux asks incredulously.

“They do when Dave Strider is about to fill up their pockets,” Dave says smoothly. You stare at him. He's all snazzed up, in one of his best suits. This is a hole-in-the-wall bar that really couldn't give a flying fuck about what he wore, but Dave was a cool kid. Who ever heard of a cool kid all dressed down for a gig? Certainly not you.

He looks happy too. Ready to spin some records and make the ladies faint on spot.

Everyone looks happy.

Why do they look so happy? Today marks another year, another anniversary since they beat the game. The same game where they'd suffered the loss of a brother, a mother, a father, friends, their own lives, and..!

“Cocky asshole. I'll give him some tips for the show. Throw quarters at that bloated head of his,” Karkat mumbles.

Ow.

Fuck.

Your head really has to stop spinning like this.

You're fairly sure someone just asked you a question.

“What?” You ask. Jade rolls her eyes at you.

“I said, what do you want? And don't be shy about it; I know how you can eat. It's all on me,” Jade says in her familiar boastful manner.

“Do they have anything strawberry flavored?” Karkat asks, and that's the last straw.

You can't do this anymore.

“Actually,” you say, setting the near-empty glass of toddler's booze down just a little harder than you intended to. The ice rattles and clinks violently against its constraints. “I'm not feeling so well. Sorry, guys, but I think I'll skip out on this one.”

Everyone's attention is on you. It makes you grow exceedingly more uncomfortable as you stand and put on your coat. One arm in a blue sleeve, and then another. Nothing exciting to see here.

“Aw, don't be a spoil-sport, brother!” Gamzee remarks.

“Would you like me to drive you home?” Rose asks. She's worried and you know it. You probably don't look so great right now, and that's why no one but that spaced out clown is objecting.

“John.”

You look up, pause in zipping your coat. Dave is looking straight at you; you can tell even with those shades obstructing his face.

“You okay?” He finishes, and ow, it hurts again. He knows, you know he knows, you aren't sick, you're just crazy, and being crazy is making you sick, and you're definitely not okay, and-

“Yeah. After some rest I'm sure I'll be fine,” you insist. You finish zipping up your coat, barely register the good-byes, and shuffle your way out of the bar.

“Hey!” Karkat's voice is right behind you. “Don't leave me with those idiots, fuckass.”

You take a deep breath.

You walk faster.

You drop your head and huddle your shoulders together and hope you don't run straight into anyone.

“The fuck are you doing? Slow down!”

It's too much. It hurts.

It hurts.

It hurts so badly and the cold is like a thousand tiny needles pricking at your exposed face and you just want to keep walking.

You need to keep walking.

“John!”

Stop.

“John?”

Please stop.

“Hey, are you okay?”

The warm tears building in your eyes are a stark contrast to the weather. You notice this as they run down your cheeks. Your legs keep moving.

Somewhere.

Anywhere.

“Don't cry... idiot.”

A sob escapes.

Then a fence is in front of you and you're swinging it open, the rusted metal giving off a shrill squeak. Your shoes hit grass, crunch crunch crunch, you know this path well, down this row, turn left, and...

You breathe harshly. You realize that you must have broken into a run, and now you're out of breath.

Panting.

White clouds fade into nothingness as soon as they appear.

A stone is propped up out of the ground.

Gray, like his text.

Of course.

You sink down to your knees and brush your shaky fingertips over the engraved words.

KARKAT VANTAS

The game ended five years ago.

Why, why, _why_ can you still hear him?


End file.
